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(JD) · May 16, 2011, 08:37 PM

(((lavalamp)))) I fully hear you and understand you...whether I convey that adequately in this response or not. Both my parents are now passed... mom just 2 years ago... but they were both in their 80s and I was the only one of 6 children that lived closed to each as they aged, became infirmed and become so much more difficult to deal with!

For me, yes, I continued to try and keep contact with them...going out of my way (even though I'm disabled) to be the good daughter...to be who I really am, a caring person...doing her proper duty.

I know at times of lucidity they appreciated it, other times I was the nasty ogre who made them...this and that etc caused such problems etc. (Like when my mom, for whatever reason, kept calling me to come help when she had fallen, knowing full well I couldn't help her up...finding her "up" already when I arrrived... and once, when fully convinced she had fallen, called the emergency people to meet me there. Ooo she never forgave me for that!

However, I think it was with undying desire to be loved. I so wanted them (individually) to prove to me that they loved me... kept giving them the chance... oh what a optimist I had become.

I would do it again today. Maybe not with such angst, because I'm wiser about the tactics that such family play... but I'd do it again because of who I have become. I'd do it "so that" I would not have any regrets once they were gone. I can now say that what I did was not enough to meet their needs, it did not keep them alive, but I know I did my very best for where I am in life. That is something with which I can live