God put us here with our own minds, to make our own decisions. We have our own conscience, but some people aren't in tune with it and some people are. I have done things in the past I am not proud of. I still do things I am not proud of. I have felt just like you before, and now I am more at ease. I know that what I do is from my heart and I always try to live through my heart, and do what I feel is right. Sometimes I may do things that aren't necessarily in the Bible, or that other people would look down on. Or say things that people would look down upon, but I know that I am doing what I believe is right and I am doing what my heart is telling me to. As long as you do that, you will be fine. I do think that God will forgive almost all of us for our sins. I think that there are evil on this earth but I sure don't think you are and I think that it is only a select few. I am not evil, and I do not worry as much about God not forgiving me for my sins. We ALL are sinners, and God knows that and I believe he accepts it. It doesn't mean he won't give us a talking when we get up there, but I surely don't think that it will keep us from going there.

Hope I have eased your mind a bit.