it's not weird that you're attracted to women in authority. do you have a good dad? i ask because i'm almost 100% positive that's why i'm more attracted to older guys. i know, i know, you like girls, but it's kinda the same, if you can understand what i mean. you want someone to take care of you, maybe offer you the emotional security a person of your own age could not. i'm only guessing based on my own personal experiences. i think getting into a youth group is an EXCELLENT idea. if you choose to tell your parents while still living at home, it might help to have some support to back you up too. is your mom open minded? mine's not, so i can relate. also, as far as dating older women right now, it would be wise not to. i can say this because i've lived through it. when you are that young, an older person that is interested in you enough to actually date you is NOT normal. i "dated" someone 20 years older than i. let me tell you, it got really weird, and awkward after awhile. it might help you sooooo much if you could find a therapist to help you explore the possible reasons why you're attracted to older women. in fact, i think you can talk to a therapist on this site. i'm pretty sure, look around on the first page that comes up when you arrive at the site. i hope you figure this all out while you're still young, but you know, we all have to learn our very own lessons the hard way sometimes. let's hope not though. : ) take care.