I think your letter is very good, honest and direct. Did you email it to your T or are you going to give it to her in your session? Did you say you've only been in therapy a few months? I think you're perceptive about your pattern of pushing people away, and even wanting to do that before they push you away.

Your T isn't going to push you away or reject you. She will work with you to understand and change your pattern, and will be a model, hopefully, of someone who will remain constant even if you try to make her dislike you.

The transference is normal and something most of us go through. I'm glad you're able to discuss it with your T.

It sounds like you're doing a good job and working hard in your therapy!