While typing this to someone here on the forum - THE LIGHT BULB came ON.... now what?

You know the strange part of it all is that.... while I know my own husband has greatly hurt me and let me down (time after time) - I also know that my real despair, that which leaves me wanting to die at times, comes from somewhere / something deeper inside me.... my husband just resonates these feelings in me for I love him so and he has hurt me like the many others.

BUT - all in all he is not the real reason I wish to DIE - but I do not know what is.

LoVe.
Rhapsody -