Tinker, to me it sounds like you're screaming out for help and attention. It's no wonder, with the reception you got from your parents. Obviously, you've never had the validation you've always needed.

I have NO CLUE why the Mental Health Profesion isn't recognizing your symptoms! Shame on those you've spoken to!! Maybe they're not recognizing or validating what you're telling them because they don't think you're in immediate danger.

Have you ever confronted a mental health professional clearly? Maybe you need to shout in their face "I'M SLOWLY KILLING MYSELF AND I WANT TO STOP! I NEED YOUR HELP!! NOW!!!!"

Your term,"Christadelphian," scares me. "Highly religious" doesn't sound good, either. (I'm a Christian.) That implies "perfection" to me... or what THEY think is perfection. I wonder if the professionals you've been speaking to are "Christiadelphians," too??

Hun, I think you need to clearly verbalize what you're going through. Put it in their face!

When you get through this, and I know you will, you will see that life IS worth living. For the time being, please take some responsibility for your life and do what you can about NOT od'ing. Please! Take it minute by minute if you need to, and get the help you need!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tinker}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}