well i went to school today and my therapist pulled me out of math class. She looked at me and asked what was wrong, i just said quickly, i felt sick. she took another look at me and said, thats not the reason, and smiled. we walked up to the therapy waiting room where her office is and we walked in her room. i sat down and she asked what was 'up'. i said, nothing and smiled. she then asked me whats the matter? something is wrong, howd your weekend go?? im like, well..its kinda embarrassing. She's like to me, nothing can be embarrassing, i delt with alot of people before with different issues, etc. im like, ok. Soo, i told her that lately i have been questioning my sexuality in my choice of gender. She then said, nothings wrong with that, blah blah blah...She then asked me what was bothering me the most about it. Well, i told her should i tell my parents, should i come out yet to more people, etc. She then asked me if i liked anybody in the school. I felt it, i got red and smiled and said well, i dont know. (I am such a horrible liar!) She then said, who? I'm like, ehhh--that i cant say. She told me she respects my privacy but, shell prob. end up finding out because she usually finds out all the details from me anyways. lol. i then talked to her about "liking" my teachers since elementary school till now. We talked about it, and by accident i told her they were teachers, so she might of been suspicious, thats why i didnt want to tell her or not. Soo then, she goes to me: "Out of curiosity, are you attracted to me?" I'm like, "noo." shes like, ok--im just wondering because if you did i would want to talk about it and work it out." or something like that. lol. then she basically told me i have a thing for authority figures and i go for women in there mid-late twenties, etc. (young ones, lol.) so i did agree. It just felt so0o uncomfotable a little bit, i never talked about it before to really anyone except you guys and a tiny bit to my psychiatrist/therapist. Not at school. I'm such a HORRIBLE liar, that if she 'guesses' who i do like, since she might now its a staff member, im screwed over the top. idkk, her office is right next door to my therapists also, and the walls are like paper thin..lol. i dont want her to hear me tell my therapist i like her. Although, it was kinda funny since she said to me, well..you dont know weather or not to make a move on her, and dont know if shes bi or gay, right? im like..yeahhhh..lol..i didnt want to say anything cuz i didnt want her to get suspicious about staff members or anything also. heh. lol. Anyways, if i do tell her, could she maybe switch me over to a new family therapist?? i mean, thats the other thing i dont want to mess up on, ya know?? cuz i do like talking to her, i do like her style of attitude, and basically over all, i am VERY FOND of her. haha. Well, what do you think i should do, tell my individual therapist or not?? idkk, i felt so0o0o sick to my stomache today and all yesterday too. this is bothering the crapola out of me. lol. My therapist also told me, we will work on it before you tell your parents or anyone. im like..ehhh w/e. ughh....idkk, thanks for listening everyone....

cya

debbie<3