Dear Pegasus,

Thanks for taking your time in trying to help me. I have had this problem once before when I was unemployed. I could not get a job because I was waiting to get my visa (I am from austria). I was living with my husband then when he was my boyfriend and I did not wanted to spend his money just because I was bored at home. Then, I did go and helped working in a horse stable which I really enjoyed. But sometimes I just could not get up and get the energy to go there. Even when I liked being there.
I do realize that the pregnancy has something to do with my problem, because I can't do the things I sometimes want. I guess it's always the same: If you can't work, you want to and if you work, you don't want to.
But I'm going away from my real problem here: I feel like that I need something what I HAVE to do, someone who tells me what to do, and if I don't do it then I get punished for it. and thats the thing wihich makes me doing it then. But how can I change myself to do things? The inner me seams to be stronger and just telling me: "Oh, you don't really have to do it or you can do it tomorrow or find any other excuse. I am a shy person when it comes to meet people. Once I know them, you would never thik that I am shy, but to make the step to walk into a group of women and try to make friends..that's not me.