Your life sounds really challenging and tough to cope with right now, but AT LEAST you at least have a general idea of what you want: an honest girlfriend, a good job, and to be "truly happy." Both of those things can be had by you, no matter how sh#tty you feel right now.

What I want you to be aware of is that there are still things you want that you haven't gotten yet. Working towards them (even if the journey is difficult) will be worth it in the end.

Well dude, I tried suicide in the past and just ended up blacking out, waking up, and not remembering where I was; it seemed like a dream. I think I might even try it again just because I don't even want to be happy because I know it is just another experience I can have as a human being and eventually things come to an end.

Below is what you said...

I'm just to f***ed up to have a chance of leading a happy life. I will never meet someone, and if I do, I will probably find some flaws and just leave her. Or I will hang onto her, like she's my only hope. Either way, it isn't good. And, of course, it's purely hypothetical. I have to be realistic.

With an attitude like that, it's going to be pretty tough to get where you want to be. Relationships take work for everyone, so "finding flaws and leaving" and/or "hanging onto her" are not the best strategies to employ. Maybe try changing up the way you approach things and be conscious of what you are doing so that you don't end up doing/getting exactly what you DON'T want...

I don't have any goals that I want to achieve. I just keep going like this until I'm 30. I am seeing a T for half a year, and I also applied for group therapy. So I am trying to change things. People say that I have changed over the last 6 months, but I still feel the same.

Although you don't have goals you want to achieve, you pretty much expressed the interest that you'd like an honest girlfriend/relationship, a good job, and to be "truly happy." Why not set some goals to get those things? Therapy is great, but it's not a cure all, fix all, or magic trick from The Prestige. You've got to take personal responsibility by accepting your situation, clearly defining what you want in life, and working towards it.

A lot of people are depressed because they can't get what they want. Life is not THAT easy. If people all got what they wanted, what would be the point in even living? It would be too easy. If you feel like you haven't changed over the past 6 months, you maybe haven't. Why not try something new so that you actually feel some change?

Best of luck sir.