I sometimes wish I could destroy my husbands work cell phone. I am having so much anxiety, because I can't seem to get him to understand how much it upsets me, that when we are together in person, (whether just the two of us or with our kids, or with extended family) he can't stop texting other people. He IS AWARE IT BOTHERS ME, and I have very good reason to be concerned... last summer he had a long distance affair via text, facebook, and phone.

Why does he continue to do this to me... us. He has virtually stopped using his personal cell phone, and I know that it more convient to just use one phone, but I can't help being afraid that it has more to do with keeping something secret from me... I hate being jealous, and I have truly forgiven him for last summer, but my current dilemia is... HOW DO I NOT WORRY WHEN HE SEEMS TO BE OPENLY BEING OBNOXIOUS ABOUT BEING ON HIS PHONE IN FRONT OF ME... and I don't have a clue who he is texting 95% of the time... when I have tried in the past to ask him, his response is facebook friends. This is another area of concern for me, since we are friends on facebook, but his friends are hidden to me, and I know that many of the people he talks to are female.

I have learned to accept over the years that he gets along with women better, but it doesn't help our relationship, when his deep conversations are not with me... WE HAVE BEEN OVER THAT TOPIC MANY TIMES AS WELL.

I want couples therapy...

I want a chance to be understood...

But he won't seem to budge on opening up to me... it has been like over 4 months since we have been "together". He says he just has no interest and it is because there is anyone else... HE SWEARS THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON WITH ANYONE ELSE... BUT I AM NOT SURE THAT I CAN TRUST HIM....

The last time I had a gut feeing for several months that something was going on, and I turned out to be right, and he finally admitted it that I had been right almost from the beginning.

I do NOT have that gut feeling this time...