I just need to say I'm feeling very lonely. I still don't want anyone near, and its' very much on purpose that I'm not in a relationship right now, but I do feel lonely. It hurts and I have to be honest about that. While I'm being honest, I'm also jealous of everyone I know who is in a relationship. I'm happy for them, but I'm jealous. It's not right, but it's how I feel. I'm still committed to spending this time alone so I can learn to love myself so my next relationship isn't such a disaster as the last one. But it's been almost 3 years alone and I hope I feel better enough soon to live a more complete life.

Thanks for listening.