((Miss Laura)) - sorry you're experiencing this and it's good you were honest about not complying with your meds ...yes you really need to take them. I feel a little funny answering in this forum because you all might wonder...how can I relate to the biplar forum? - my now deceased brother had bipolar disorder, so it's familiar to me.

I get the impression from your post, that you're not wanting to go in front of cars because you're 'suicidal.' You actually are engaging in daring behavior because you don't think you'll get hit. Now I don't know if this is the 'manic' part of bipolar or delusional or it could be 'intrusive thinking' which would fall under compulsive disorder. The unfortunate thing is, you're not just thinking but also acting on the thoughts. Please do take your meds and tell the attending medical staff that you're having/acting on these thoughts. Be safe ((Miss Laura))