Hi Laura, you're not a bad person. You're also not a super hero... there's no such thing as super heroes. But you're super brave to have told your pdoc, and to recognise that this is an issue, and to be looking for ways to control it.

This thread has really surprised me, because I used to think I was the only person who this happened to. And now it seems it happens a lot... The main reason I fought against it was that there was always that little niggling thought... if I die, who's going to look after my son? And sometimes there was another little niggling thought which was... well, I'll not tell you, I don't want to trigger you.

Personally, I think you're doing all the right things. You've spoken to your pdoc, you've asked for help here, you're taking your meds, and your friend knows. I would suggest that until you stabilise on the meds you should only go out with friends. I wish I could offer more concrete advice... have you contacted your local chapter of MIND? They offer befriending services, and you might have someone else to help you with your shopping, etc, who can keep an eye on your self injurious tendencies.

Hang on in there. This will pass.