Tree!!! What an absolutely moving post you just put up!

When you wrote:

"So. I would say as much as I could and then I would tell him I needed to stop and ask him to tell me a story. Just short things...like his favorite thing he ate last weekend was banana pudding. The little stories would ground me and I would say the next part, and then he would tell me a little story. We did that until I got the stupid sentence out.

After I told him, he asked if I wanted to continue talking about it or if I wanted to sit with the fact that I finally said it. I really wanted to sit with the fact that I said it, FINALLY. So, we did. T talked about how hard it must have been to hold that for a year, and to spiral up and down with it, and to never be able to say it. He talked about me being brave, and not having to hold it alone anymore. I sat and felt the feeling of still being ALIVE, even though I finally said it. I actually thought about PC and how hard it is for us to say things...and I thought about posting about how we CAN speak the unspeakable, and still be okay."

I recognized that. It's as if I were you, and words, if they came out at all, might only be 1 or 2 at a time. The sweetness and struggle of your experience and your re-telling it really has touched my heart. It makes me feel like I can accept my deficiency in revealing all my sadness and badness and that I'm ok if I don't have the exact words or can only say one word at a time. Listen............. I know what I'm writing isn't making any sense at all. Just know, dear tree, that you sharing your latest experience has really, really touched me in a way nothing ever has before. Thank you so much for sharing that very tender and very personal experience.