I had a bad upbringing, there was a lot of rejection and emotional/physical abuse. My dad is a psychopath who has been in and out of prison and my mum is an alcoholic. When i was younger my mum used to kick me out the house a lot, so i lived in the woods. This is when i first remember doing bad things, such as stealing food from neighbors, and furniture from dump sites. I also used to steal money from my mother. Throughout school, i was often bullied because i was a loner. I got into a lot of trouble for fighting, general rudeness and stealing. I used to have a very bad temper and used to have a lot of violent outbursts - I was sent to a psychiatrist to have anger management classes. Nothing ever came of them.

Teenage years haven't gone much better, i've been in constant trouble. I don't have a criminal record, but i've been close many times. I don't particularly want one either. I'll admit to having a drinking problem, i'm an obsessive thinker, it feels like i'm thinking about 100 things at once; constantly evaluating people and reading them, so drinking is my way of slowing myself.The last 4 years i've failed college 4 times, and have been living with my grandma, sister, and mother.

So now you know a little about me - I'll go onto the "symptoms". I have stolen in the past, from people close to me, as well as from other sources. I haven't really done anything else which would be classed as illegal i don't think. This isn't anything bad, it's perfectly natural.

On the other hand, helping people has no buzz, so i don't see why people bother doing it.

I do lie a lot, though strangely most of the time i don't do it consciously. It all seems to come naturally to me now, i do it without even thinking about it. I constantly devise plans to trick people, or test people. I like to see what people will believe, and when they fall for my lies or i get them to do something. It makes me feel great and powerful. I often pretend to be depressed and shy - I've learnt that a lot of people are sympathetic towards me if i do, which allows me to get special treatment. Strangely it also makes people trust you more, which is fun. I've also told college that i have Aspergers Syndrome, I even act out the symptoms, such as lack of eye contact to enforce the lie.

My mum is involved with another sociopath, (Not my dad). She is such an easy target, she's upper class, very paranoid and obsessive, and most importantly VERY desperate for companionship. It's like the perfect target for a sociopath. Her boyfriend is obviously using her, she's blind do it to all. I've got him kicked out of her house at least, but they are still together. I'm not sure if i should do anything else. Maybe my mum needs a harsh lesson to stop being so needy and leaving herself vulnerable. One the other hand, he's a douche - And i would love to see him burn to the ground. I guess i care a little?

I have one good friend, He is a lot like me. Appears to me emotionally cold, and incredibly narcissistic. Recently, since we have been getting on so well, i decided to test his sympathy and see if he was caring. So i told him that i was kicked out my house and would have to quit college because i was homeless. I was fishing to see if he would invite me over and offer comfort. Turns out he did, which means he does care .. Which means i'm all alone. - I do feel very lonely sometimes.

I'm not particularly violent anymore, my nasty streak seems to have mellowed, although i could be classed as a bit sadistic, but i only normally do malicious things when they are provoked. I haven't been in a fight for ages, although i often have strong urges to ..... people. I'm not going to be silly - I don't want to go to prison.

When it comes to love and compassion, I do feel something. I don't know how to describe what i feel, but it's a possessive love. It feels like they are mine, and i have influence in their lives, and i like that thought. It's like your pride possessions, like a fancy car or an awesome PC. You don't want them damaged or to lose them, but when you do it's not the end of the world. Regarding sexual promiscuity which is apparently a common symptom - I'm non-sexual, never had any sexual attractions!

I don't think i care about anyone, i've shut off a lot of people out of my life, and never cared about not seeing them again. When people close to me die, although disappointing - It doesn't bother me.

Was getting long, honestly i could have written 100x more than this .. Just love writing my thoughts. Thanks to anyone who read this, and to anyone who answers. I'll answer any questions.