My exhusband and I went out since I was 18 years old, we went to collage, graudate school together. After 13 years of time together,
we divorced 5 years ago.

since then we have been both tried to move on... I have a wonderful boyfriend of 4 years and my ex is going back to China to get married tomorrow, and will never come back to US.

I went to see him yesterday ( I haven't seen him for more than 4 years)
we talked about a lot things and did some shopping and I left.

I have been crying constantly since I saw him yesterday. we basically grew up together, both of us being young, didn't appreciate each other until it 's too late.

If I saw a man poor and smokes a lot, I would stay away from him, and may even disgust him. but when I realized that my ex has to use credit card to pay his bill last month and he smokes almost every hours, and he was being taken advantaged when he selling his car..., My tears pouring out, my heart is aching, I'm so so so worried and sad, I have been crying since last night ... I thought I already get over the divorce after 5 years, but now I'm wondering will I ever ?

One reason for our breakup is his depression.

I can be sympathy about your situation...