Thanks guys. I'm feeling better that I told someone this. It's better than carrying all that baggage around.

I've been thinking of therapy. Mind in this country provide cheap therapy for people... it's fifteen pounds a session, which I might just be able to manage. I phoned them earlier this week asking for information, and they haven't got back in touch. Of course, I was thinking maybe it was God's way of telling me not to go into therapy... but that's just silly. I'm going to ring them back.

You're right... I'm glad neither of you blamed my mother. You're exactly right, she was suffering from an illness, and was trying to keep us safe. We didn't get addicted to sleeping pills, so in the long run no harm done.

My Mum committed suicide twenty years ago, and has now been dead longer than I knew her. I suppose that brought up some sad memories as well. However, there are plenty of good ones too, from when she was in remission. One thing's for sure, I know she loved us.