I'm sorry if I came across as very patronising earlier. Sometimes I think I'm being so great and helpful when all I'm doing is making things worse!

But I do still stand by the idea that 'nerd' and 'loser' are unhelpful concepts, that they are simplistic and lead to a distorted view of self and others. I think as young teens we begin judging each other and vying for social status and so we start using these terms which are basically insults. Perhaps that is why I presupposed you were younger.

Sorry again for the mistake - and for not having any better answer...