Hi-
I am dealing with some of this also in my marriage, and honestly all I have found that works for me is to allow myself to feel the comfort I get from him, because I don't recall any time when sex with anyone was not filled with anxiety or stress. But comfort is a beautiful thing.
-AH

-Ariel

Whatever you can do,
Or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic, in it.
-Goethe