my mom found out i "am". she flipped and i even told her, why did you bug me for 45 min about what i was talking about and what was bothering me if you didnt no what you were going to hear or not?! i know shes angry, mad and sad and depressed because its not what 'she' wanted, but...i think i would be alot happier, ya know?? yeah, i know its gona take time for her and all, but she ALWAYS says to me, be more mature...and says how shes being the better person or w/e. well, last night she made me feel so0o0o worthless and not mattering. it feels horrible, and still does. heh. i talked to her a little earier today and she said i was thinking about it and i want you out of your sisters' room ,im like..y? im not a pedifile!! shes like, your influence on her wont be good, etc.. im like..ughh..omfg. not fair, im getting treated like this. she has friends that are gay, and she has NO problem with them at all, or from the start. lol. i cant go live with my dad, hes stupid and he will NOT accept me if he end up knowing. he'll abbandon me ASAP. My stepfather will kick me out of my house. i know right off the bat he will, lol. where do i go then?? my mom then blames it on my new school cuz alot of people there appear and are bi or gay. BUT---i feel more confotable talking about and feeling more confotable in general with my choice. lol. but since i was little, i had these feelings too. heh. NOW--soon, i have fam. therapy with "her". heh. well, now we might not go cuz my brother has an appointment at 5:30pm and dont know if well be there in time for 6:45pm. i wana go, but i have a feeling my mom outta spite is gona tell "her" that i like her alot, etc..then my moms gona cry, and it will be sooo annoying...haha. in ALL seriousness, what am i gona do????

deb