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iamspecial · May 21, 2011, 09:12 AM

PH: Thank you soo much for my hugs!! ((((((PH))))))) Thank you for your comment too....she really has thrown me...i still am really pissed about it and at the end her giving me numbers to ring if i want to SI or ring her (yeah right has if i can ever trust her) UGH im soooo frustrated....why didnt she give me a warning like 2 weeks before? i have no idea where to start with writing to her....maybe you guys can help me? im soo lost and need guidance with it!

mgran: hey sis LTNS!!!!!!! thank you for commenting sis is been ages and i was soo glad to see you yesterday.....you know how im feeling lol i hope you are doing better than yesterday..please keep me informed!!!! your son is a star for looking after you and making sure you eat!! ((((mgran))))

leo: Thank you for my hug leo...(((((Leo)))))) Thank you for your comment too....i just dont normally rant soo much...and i kinda feel bad for ranting over this...it kinda seems stupid now....well to me it does but she really has upset me...talk about having trust...where was that when i went to see her? she saw me sat waiting for her and i saw this person walk behind her and didnt think anything of it....till i got up and followed her she turns and says oh yeah this is who ever she said her name was shes joining us....WHAT!!!!! my face drop, i looked at the floor..got in the room looked at the floor the whole time picking my nail varnish of my nails getting really upset and angry wanting to do damage to myself but stuck with picking the nail varnish off......im not going again...i dont think i can face that again b/c i know that person is going to be there again and she wants to read my peoms what i write im not ready to show them to her...i dont even know her....i feel soo idk im rubbish with words....she knew what med i take..i didnt even tell her i was on any..only my T knew...UGH! see im ranting again..im sorry leo

Can't Stop Crying: Thank you for your comment...i was soo shocked when she told me there and then....she didnt even ring me up to tell me....she didnt say anything to me in our last session that she was going to bring her next time....people ask me why i dont trust them...well this says it all..my own T betrayed me so why should i trust anyone else? UGH!!!!!! this isnt fair......i trust soo many people on here and now mt T has done this to me its like im fighting to keep that trust with them b/c i keep thinking my T betrayed me then everyone is going too aswell and thats not fair....they havent and i dont think they will but im torturing myself to not believe the lies that my head keeps saying...im not proud of myself b/c before my T appoinment i had already SIed 3 days before b/c i was upset and frustrated so i have nothing to be proud about....apart from managing not to this time even tho i really want to...im not that strong really...im a failure.