I too, suffer from major depression and dysthymia but my pdoc has noted the possibility of bipolar. I firmly deny this, the only highs I recall being similar to hypomania, but resulting from some combination of drugs, excessive exercise or rock music, plugged as closely into my brain as I could get it.

That being said, I have heard on TV that Abilify is a good adjunct therapy to antidepressant medication for treatment of depression, so that should not rid you of the highs. And I certainly appreciate how precious those highs are, although my experience with them has been relatively limited.

I believe that many mood-leveling drugs used to treat bipolar primarily target the highs, as these are most problematic for society at large. Psychiatric treatment, while necessary, benefits society as much as the individual, the primary benefit of bipolar treatment being that the individual gets to live at home, rather than in psychiatric facility. When we are depressed, we stay to ourselves, keep our mouths shut, and cause problems for no one but ourselves. We suffer silently. In manic or hypomanic episode, we act out, keep the household awake, wear amazing make-up and clothing combinations, tell people off at the shopping center, interrupt the church service, and generally bring all manner of attention to ourselves. This typically gets us a ride to the nearest state hospital, where court commitments are easy to obtain, and which creates a drain on state funds, as few people are willing to pay for a court-mandated hospital stay which ridded them of their excessive joy.

In short, I think that, at best, mood-stabilizing meds used for treatment of bipolar leave us feeling neither depression nor mania, in short, nothing at all. At worst they take away the manic side of the illness, leaving only the depression. I hate to sound cynical, and there may be a few meds which effectively treat bipolar, leaving an appropriate amount of happiness.

The best thing you have on your side is your excellent insight. Recognize when you are having a manic or hypomanic episode, and take care not to be interruptive, or disruptive, or to bring undue attention to yourself in any way. Notice when you are talking too fast or too much, and stop it. Dress appropriately, even when you feel like wearing 19 clashing colors and 50 pieces of jewelry. Enjoy your feelings of omnipotence, but do not share them. Keep your 75 ideas for sure-fire business ventures to yourself. Even tho it may seem possible to you, one probably cannot mine gold from a brick building. Keep in mind that you are probably not a movie or rock star, even tho you starred in your senior play and can play a few good riffs on the guitar. Remember that everybody, not just you, has a "special mission for God." Mania can be joyful [or full of anger, which is the down side], but once noted by others, it will get you placed on a mood stabilizer if you are willing, and in handcuffs en route to the hospital if you are not.

From one who understands. billieJ