It is okay to cry in front of T! There is no scale for suffering...pain is pain, you can't compare your trauma to others. What matters the most is how it impacted you and what you think you need to do to recover. I think learning to have and express feelings is a good think to work on. Have you thought about printing your thread for your T? Might give him some insight as to where you are right now. Someone suggested that to me once and it was very useful advice!