im 37. married. two kids/ 13 and 9. started an affair 9 months ago. it became more than just sex. intense. loving. the real deal..or so i thought. she is pregnant with my child. (3 months.) i though we were on our way to starting a new life together. yesterday out of the blue she said(through text) that she is staying with her boyfriend. she told me not to text her. to forget her. forget the baby. let it go. i have to be honest i am ****ing devestated and crushed to the point of suicide. she claimed she wanted to be with me for a lifetime....then bam. its over. i dont know what to do. i have borderline personality disorder and depression so all of this is so much harder than for the average guy i guess. anyone have any constructive advice? I already have a therapist and shrink.(only within the last 4 months.) how do i deal with this **** and appear somewhat normal to my kids when i can hardly keep from crying every second?