Hi solossometimes, I feel for you. I have lost family to cancer and have also battled with quitting and relapsing during the tough times. That was before I found a dedicated cold turkey educational web site. They taught me that smoking doesn’t relieve stress. Stress causes a chemical reaction in your body that depletes the nicotine levels, putting you into withdrawal. So when you have a smoke and feel better it is because you have stopped the withdrawal. It only takes three days for the worst of nicotine withdrawal to end so if you smoke during a stressful situation after that you won’t be stopping withdrawal and you probably won’t feel better, more likely it will taste horrible and make you cough and feel dizzy. Nicotine addiction is the same as any other addiction so if you use nicotine after you have been through withdrawal you will re-establish your addiction and end up using the same amount as before or maybe more. Studies have shown that we cope with stress better and are calmer when we don’t use nicotine. You are not weak, you are addicted. It happens to lots of us. You don’t have to be strong to quit, you just need to know how!