All you are asking for is to have your OWN life. He sounds extremely abusive. You didn't describe the "chaos" you bring into the household at all. Maybe you start the fights, but it doesn't sound like you do. It sounds like you're sick of being treated like the personal slave of the household & want a partnership, not a slave & master situation. It's the 2000's, girl. You don't have to clean up after everyone.

The Bible card is a dirty card to play. Yes, your vows were to honour thy husband, but his were to honour his wife. Yelling at you for wanting to share equal responsibilities, & telling you that God says it's the woman's job to do all of the cooking & cleaning is just plain ignorance. He's bullying you. You DON'T have to put up with it, & don't think it's not affecting your children.

You should sit down & tell him how you feel. If he cares, he will listen to you & help work out a solution WITH you. That's what marriage is SUPPOSED to be, a PARTNERSHIP, not a slave contract. There are men out there who will treat you & your children the way you DESERVE to be treated, & men can only abuse you as long as you choose to ALLOW them to. Some men think they own you like something they bought at the store, but they DON'T. As women, we too often tend to do the one thing we should NEVER do- allow others to take away our sense of self-worth.

Whatever you choose, just know that being a woman is a strong & powerful thing, & hundreds of women DIED so that we as modern women may have equal RIGHTS as according to the LAW. It is YOUR life. It is YOUR choice. He can only choose his reaction. One last thing I would like to say is NEVER to let a man hit you because if he hits you even ONCE & you stay in the relationship, he will do it again. The more times he hits you & you stay, the more often & the harder he will hit you, & any man who hits his wife will not stop hitting his wife until one of three things happens: 1) he beats her to death, 2) he dies, or 3) she leaves & does what she can legally to protect herself.