The more i hear and read the more confusing things are. I have been in therapy with somewhere around a dozen different people (for various reasons) and they all have different ideas no less different diagnoses. Then the things I read dont seem to match any of that either. Is depression an illness or a choice/excuse? Does remembering/analyzing the past really matter? does it need to be done or not, should youjust focus on changing behaviors of today without know why the behaviors exist? Does theraoy even work or is it necessary or are you just looking for attention and could really help yourself? Are meds helpful/necessary or harmful? I know all people and situations are different but what to do with all this information? how do you choose a path to follow? I would say folow my feelings - but i do not have them, logic and reasoning rules my wold and I cannot seem to logic my way through this. Not to mention I am barely able to a sentence in therapy, and cant really remember one session to the next to make any forward progress. Just trying to figure out if there is a way to figure out what the problem is and what to do with it in the face of all the contradicting information. Im really really really disconnected from myself and really the world it seems and dont know how to get involved as it has been like this for as long as I can remember for reasons I do not know and do not know how to figure out or even if I should or need to figure it out. Spinning my wheels going in circles, thinking thinking thinking and not figuring anything out.