After much thought and talking about it with my T & wife I've decided to severe all communication with my Father. At least for the foreseeable future. I just won't let him do to me what he's done to me all my life. Belittle me - discount me - ridicule me - control me - blame me for his miserable existance - abuse me. I can cut myself off from him knowing that I've done everything a son could do to try to help his unappreciative father age with some degree of comfort and dignity. And I'm satisfied I did that. To the best of my ability. In spite of his protests - resistance - ridicule for my "worrying too much." Etc.

So he's 85 & on his own. Luckily, my brother - who is just like him - will keep Dad company until he dies. This decision will also separate me from my brother but I have no choice. Being with dad - even talking to him on the phone - triggers too much. As my T said, "I'm not sure it's good for you to be with your main abuser." She's right. It's NOT good for me. Sets me back for weeks after even the briefest of exposure.