I'm a recovering alcoholic, and I would not have wanted to live with me when I was actively drinking. I also wouldn't want to live with me now, still being in my first year of sobriety and learning about myself and how to live. I don't have any kids so I can't say what kind of parent I would have been in my drinking days. I would hope that I'd be a functioning parent, since I was pretty much a functioning employee and member of society, but there were times that I blacked out and who knows what would have happened to kids had I had them. I know for me, the recovery process is long and consumes every part of me. I can understand there being a period of time before children are placed back with their parents after they've started the recovery process. However, I do believe that the foster homes are in many ways much worse. The whole system needs reforming in my opinion. Are you at least allowed contact with your parents? I wish the system was doing better for you. We're here for you!