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Hi

Why do we strive so hard to be liked, the ones among us who suffer in this way? Is it maybe a lack of confidence? Or could it be an overstuffed ego? Or a bit of both!

I can't decide, because sometimes I think it's one thing and then the other, according to how I'm feeling and who I'm with.

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I wish I could see it from an outside perspective and tell you what I see. But my life seems to revolve around what I think other people are thinking about me... even though they're really not thinking what I'm thinkin' they're thinking.

For me, it's a complete lack of confidence... and even when I can find that confidence, it's gone the very next minute. It's kind of an uncontrollable twist in my head that makes me hate myself even more... which makes my life seem even more meaningless... which leads me to where I am now... here, by myself, alone and without anyone I feel can trust.