>>oh yeah, and dexter, does anyone still live there??

not at the moment, he is currently in a mental hospital and trying to return home. it is a long story. the house has been that way all my life. when i was young i would try to help him clean before i understood that there was something emotional going on there. i would spend all day cleaning one room with him and then i found out he was going out to the garbage and bringing stuff in and hiding it. he had (and still has) standard excuses like "i lost some money and thought it was in the papers that were thrown out".

my mom was miserable living like that but never spoke up about it, she used to defend him all the time. when she died my dad told the social workers that the house got that way because of his depression which was a lie. he is full of lies and manipulation which is why i can not and will not deal with him anymore. the social workers had volunteers to help him clean, he always puts on an act of enthusiasm but then sabotages the help. one i know he just would not let throw anything out (he gave her the "lost money" story) and one he just chatted up so that no work ever got done.

the social workers began asking me to help him clean up, he led them to believe that with my help he could get over his "problem" but that of course was another attempt to manipulate me back into his life. I had to explain to the social workers over and over about how he lied about the previous condition of the house, how he has a history of sabotaging attempts to clean, and how i would not help him because i'd "been there, done that".

unfortuately there was nothing more they could do. my dad was not declared incompetent so they can' t force him out or to clean up. he was later admitted into the hospital for depression and that ended up transfereing to a longer care facility. they are ready to send him home but will not release him while the house is in this state. so now he has convinced them that the best thing would be for him to move in with ME (!!!) and he'll go to his house each day and clean a little. that ain't gonna happen. my health plummets after a 1 hour conversation with him no way i will let him live here.

as of now this is unresolved.

it this had happened two or three years ago i would have been in heaven. i would have cleaned up the house myself while he was in the hospital. cleaning would have been very satisfying and i could have helped him out without having to be in touch with him. but the arthritis makes it something i can't consider and on top of that the depression really complicates things. just going over there to close the windows for him (that's when i took the photos) being there for more than a half hour was completely emotionally overwhelming for me.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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