(((inklid)))

I know where you are coming from. This is really hard. I think you need to try to take a step outside of this situation and really look at it. There are a couple of angles. 1. It is totally understandable to want to have an intimate relationship with your boyfriend. It is a concern of yours and he should be relatively open to hearing your concerns and wanting to work on them. Would he be up for seeing a couples therapist about this? 2. It sounds like you have become trapped in the mental state of this continual rejection. Do you think you might be replaying a scenario of abandonment from when you were a kid? It may help to talk it out with a counselor? There is a kind of severe panic that comes with going to someone over and over and having them "turn away" that gets repeated in our relationships. What I mean to say is that there are two options... Tell your boyfriend this is important to you and you need to be able to talk it out with him or get mad and let him go. Sometimes I need to wake up and ask, "Wait, what have I gotten myself into with this needing and wanting?" You are important. You are your own person, a valuable person!

Sending many supportive thoughts your way.

E.