How many? I don't know. Like the last post I used to tell poeple, but I'm not sure of my movivation, did I want sympathy, exceptions, to be left alone, to be different, I suspect mostly I did not want to be judged, back then I had no tools, I was 87lbs of nerves. I was tired of poeple telling me I had an eating disorder, I didn't know why I couldn't eat, why every thing mad me jump, I thought I was going crazy no matter what the T said. I thought that poeple would know what PTSD meant, but I didn't know what it meant, and really I still don't. I got lucky and got some really good tools, how to stay here and now, how to figure out the more common triggers, a pdoc talked me into SSDI so I retreated from life. That made everything easy, I just quit dealing with it. Everytime I tried to go back to work I just ignored the PSTD and that didn't work to well. I never managed to stay working very long. Sometimes I told the manager, sometimes I didn't I rarely told co-workers, I did that once and thereafter when I had a bad day one of then would ask if I had forgotten my meds! But I think it was my not working on it/acknowledging that made everything fall a part. I think for me to be succussful at work I need to work on the stuff that comes up, not try to bury it.

As for family they all know the words, but none except my daughter really understand. My daughter lived it, and it was really hard for her. My mother wanted to deny the whole thing because it made her look like a bad mother(In her mind, the fact a neighber molested me made her a bad mom, so she just denyed it, it's a family thing.). But I have an aunt who took her to groups where she learned the basics, when she heard from strangers about the night terrors she knew I wasn't lieing, I woke her up so often with screams, but believing me and understanding, are not the same. I haven't told anyone for years, the only ones who know are those who see my medical chart, and my T. I just started working with my T on the issue recently because it came up with medical proceders recently. This is something I'm working on because I'm very isolated. I don't know if I will tell others as I work on it and take chances. It's a good topic.

((((((open eyes)))))) I'm so sorry you are in such pain, I allways think of you as a very strong knowledgeable person.