Audrey... first of all, congratulations on finding a safe and patient man! That's a feat in itself. I don't have a lot of advice for you because I'm still single and basically a virgin. I mean... I was raped once, but I don't think that counts. It might be that you have a very strong conscience about staying pure until you are married. If that is the case, you could move further with you mate after marriage. Is there any doctrine from the past ingrained into you that would make your subconscience keep you from doing the sex act before marriage? I"m just stabbing at ideas. I hope it helps you sort through it all.