Quote:
Originally Posted by inklid
It's got to be the hardest relationship problem I've ever had to deal with. We have a loving relationship, he wants marriage and kids with me. But all the lust and desire seems to have disappeared from his side.
I initiate everything and get rejected 90% of the time.
I've tried toys, lingerie, dirty texts to his phone, and everything just gets turned into a joke. (I am a slim and pretty women, my worst flaw would be that I've lost a little tone since we started dating)
I don't know what's wrong, I've asked him and he says that he's tired. That it isn't me. But this time around it's been 3 weeks and counting since we last had sex.
It's hard to explain, I don't really care about the sex, but the rejection and lack of intimacy is destroying my self-esteem and he knows this. I don't understand how over the course of a few months we go from every day to a few times a week, to maybe once to hardly ever.
Some male perspective may help?? Thanks all.
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I am in the same exact boat. Boyfriend much older than me though, he is 47, and i am 23, and so his sex drive was always a bit lower than mine. But in the past year it's gone from once a week to maybe once a month, down to not even having sex for 2 months straight... He is on antidepressants and I think it has contributed to the lack of desire (his parts work). He never feels like doing it, he says he is always tired. And you know, I really don't think that's just an excuse. I think he literally might be just so tired and stressed out... Some people cope with stress by WANTING to be intimate (me) and others cope by NOT wanting it (him), so there has been a bit of tension there. Although he does not want sex, though, we are finding other ways to feel closer and bonded, we cuddle a lot (although sometimes it is just not enough!). I think he may have low testosterone or something. But he will not go to a doctor to get it checked out. One thing that has helped us to have sex recently (as in like 2 weeks ago lol), was that I noticed he gets real tired at night, and won't have sex before bed. So, if i initiate during the day when he is not busy, or afternoon, or once even in the morning, there's more chance of him feeling up to it. What time of day are you initiating? Cause if its at night, he might have the same problem as my boyfriend at night. Hang in there, it may get better. (((((hug))))))