Thank you all for replying. It does truly show I'm not alone. I really do appreciate it. BlackPup, I am taking medication. Among others, 2 anti depressants, cymbalta and abilify. I think it may be time for a med change since these don't seem to be working at all. I am doing a little bit better today. Last night was the worst I've felt in a long long time. It was really scary. But I'm making sure I am around someone at all times just for safety. And I did call and get appts both for my pdoc and therapist, although they're not until the end of next week, but it's better than nothing. I'm just telling myself to hang on until then. I know my kids need me. I need them as well. Thank you all for the advice, and kind words, and support you've shown me. It really did help me out!