I have been in therapy for a year now. We keep going back to forgiveness. How I need to forgive myself for decisions I made in my past that are affecting me today.

I am sick to death of her talking about this! I even told her today that I am tired of it. She said that we would continue to re-visit this because it tends to show up in every part of my life whether I see it or not.

I want her to SHUT UP! Yes, I told her that, too. Not in a harsh way, but I want her to let this go, but she won't. I asked her, "How am I supposed to forgive myself? I don't know how to do that."

The issue at hand is to forgive myself for the hasty decisions I made when I married twice. I did not pause at the red flags, I just plowed right through them. I am paying for those mistakes big time.

If I knew how to forgive myself, I would. But I don't know how. Will someone please help me figure this out? She is going to drive me insane until I get to the root of this. I don't mean this in a bad way against my therapist. She is probably doing what I need the most, but I don't know what to do.

She tells me that I have to dig deep on this and try to figure out why I cannot (or won't allow) forgive myself for what I have done. She asked me, "What would your life look like if you didn't carry around so much guilt? You have carried this weight for so long that you do not even see what it is doing to you. How much better would you feel if you let this go?"

Of course, I would feel better, but I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET THIS GO!!
Will someone please help me before she drives me crazy!!