I think it's a lot for a therapist to say "you need to forgive yourself" and magically expect it to just HAPPEN.

I know that for me, any gentleness towards myself, any acceptance, any forgiveness, was something that had to slowly slowly develop over time, from deep within ME.

I think that T is an example...he is so gentle with me, and so accepting, and I think seeing him treat me that way helps me understand that maybe it's okay for me to be treated that way, and opens the door to me being able to give that to myself. But, like everything else in therapy (and in life), it is a process, something that has slowly come over time.

I wonder if you can just hear what T is saying...that you deserve forgiveness (or maybe, acceptance?)...know that she truly believes that, and hold it as something that could be possible for you? Instead of expecting yourself to just suddenly get from point A to point Z....maybe notice the B,C,D, as you grow and learn and work towards Z.
to you