forgiveness is a tricky issue. i think one of the first things a person can do to begin the process (its definitely NOT a "one and done" situation) is to give him/herself some context. considering and trying to understand all the things that led up to a decision you regret, all the reasons why you felt that this was the right decision at the time, etc. and then offering THAT you some empathy and compassion. rather than making it her fault for being stupid (or whatever the negative messages are when you think about the decisions you regret), making an effort to understand why SHE didnt feel that any other options were plausible.

i struggle with it too....like i said, its a process. you dont either forgive yourself or not. you practice forgiving yourself on a daily basis...and depending on your state of mind or mood, you may have to practice forgiving yourself on an hour to hour or minute to minute basis....