Thank you so much for writing back. Its strange that we are in the same situation. I knew that this might happen to other people, but I didnt think Id ever be able to find someone to talk to about it. It helps to hear something from the other side as well. As for your situation, I believe that the think that made me want to change was when I no longer had the little things that I cherished so much. The saying that you dont know what you have till youve lost it is so true. I never thought that it would get as bad as it did. I never thought that she would leave me. It hurts to think that the only way that I could understand and want to get help was to lose her. Just the way that she said "hello" was different to me. I dont know if the same thing would work in your situation but it might. It sounds like your husband does still love you but he hasnt been able to understand how you feel and he doesnt even understand how much he DOES love you. He hasnt been able to understand how important the relationship is to him. When you put so much time into a relationship no matter how painful the relationship may be sometimes, the time and effort is hard to let go. I knew that we had great times together before the changes happened and I learned that I wanted them again. I learned that she was the most important part of my life. I hope that I can help you understand where your husband is coming from by speaking with you. If we are able to help eachother through this I think we could strengthen both of our relationships. I have been thinking of letting her read what ive written and maybe it might strike a nerve in your husband as well. When he sees that someone else is having the same problem as him and how therapy might just bring my relationship back together, maybe that will make him want to do the same.
I know I can do this and I believe you can too.
Joel