Self-forgiveness, compassion on yourself, that's an ongoing process.......and sometimes you can, sometimes you do, but then sometimes you don't and you need to find your way back to it......
It's about accepting what you cannot change, that being the past or others' actions or attitudes, accepting that you did the best you could with what you had at the time - as my T often says to me, to just accept that it was good enough and to move on and do the best I can now.....
Self-acceptance, self-forgiveness go together so much.....accepting yourself as not perfect, accepting that you've made mistakes, that's a step toward forgiving yourself for making them. I find myself stuck in the acceptance part because I haven't let go of the shame and the guilt like I need to.....letting go of those burdens is necessary in forgiving yourself.
But I think of this too, if God has forgiven me whatever real mistakes I made, for whatever wrongs I have done, how can I not forgive myself.....