you are definately not alone ...I'm going through the same thing and have been for sometime. the only thing that helps me alittle is to remember all the bad stuff & realize how much better off I am in the long run, try to keep busy , focus on the good things going on in my life Kids, family,friends etc..I wish I knew the answer but please know that we are here for you ..sometimes just having someone to listen helps ...take care ...hugs