I'm not sure where these feelings are coming from. I haven't really felt like this since high school. The need to SI and not knowing really why.... I find excuses as to "maybe why" but none of them really explain the sudden darkness surounding me. The constant arguing with myself is becoming far to much. Part of me is strong, but I'm not sure it's strong enough. I want to know why I feel like this... Feels like nobody really cares though I am good at hiding my feelings... or really blocking my feelings I guess because I don't really feel anything. Things were going good the past few years... then all of a sudden I hit this dark place in my mind again. I'm clawing at the walls trying to climb out but I can't find the way....
I guess this is more of a vent than anything. I don't know what I'm trying to gain by posting this even. I just dont know....