Right now, I feel like I'm swinging like Tarzan. Constantly going, and not knowing where.

I'm going up and down like it's my job, and I'm getting really sick of it.

It's probably a combination of things: Change in meds (I upped my Lamictal, started Lexapro and upped Lexapro all within a week), problems with meds (I have a rash that I'm pretty sure is Lamictal related although probably benign, but I'm going to see a dermatologist to be sure), stress, odd hours of sleep and probably some other factors that I'm not currently thinking of.

I don't really know how to handle it, and it's driving me crazy.

I'm still new to all of this. It's been just over a month since my diagnosis, and while I'm happy to finally be getting the right treatment I need, I'm impatient, and unhappy about having to be on meds and trying to get the right ones and the right doses etc. I'm also still coming to terms with my diagnosis. Some days I'm better than others when it comes to that.

Honestly though, all I really want is for my life to feel right...to feel normal...to not hate the way it is and want everything to change...to not worry so much about this and that related to my stability, functioning and well-being...to just be able to be truly me...and that's hard to do when you're swinging through the jungle like Tarzan or climbing a mountain that you aren't quite yet prepared for.