Thank you everyone with all the great advice. Since that last fight my bf came to me upset and there were moments when he was crying telling me he can't put up with my anger anymore. He ask me why must I always jump the gun and think the worst of things and how everyone is out to get me. Why can't I just allow him to explained himself instead I won't let him say anything and then I put him down.

I'm a horrible person when I'm angry, I'm not the person that he loves. Does it make me crazy when I know where my anger is coming from but I just don't know what to do about it. i dont know how to not take things personal and I dont know how to not get defensive. I dont know how to keep myself calm when I am upset. I have an idea where my anger is coming, I know I have a problem, I know I need help, I am desperate for help. I can't lose my bf, I need him, I love him.

My anger is taking over my life, enough is enough already.