I made it through the night ok. The doc appt went allright. i cryed in it. we basically talked about things to do instead of cutting and how i can handle the situations better. Yeah all the fun stuff. And we also talked that i should not be afraid of the ER and getting admitted. Im still nervous cause my cousin is still around. I wish she would leave. Its very sad when u wish ur own flesh and blood cousin would just leave and never return. I dont want bethy to leave but i also do want her to leave. I just want the beth i knew back not this bethy who gets upset for the littlest of things. Im still pretty up and down about last nite but its at a level i can manage. I dont know why i must feel this way and choose between my friend or my cousin. I just want things to be back to normal.