My fiance and I have been together for about 5 years. I don't remember when I actually told him about my depression, anxiety, and later possible bipolar (they decided I was on the spectrum...). We were also long distance for four of those years. About a year into our relationship, he broke up with me because he couldn't stand feeling helpless and not being able to "fix" me. We were also quite young, and I believe he just wanted to have a fun, happy relationship. My depression was pretty much killing that. Some number of months later, he came back to me. He told me that he realized he couldn't have the good without the bad and that he had matured and was ready for a relationship with me whatever that meant. We had a rough transition back into relationship mode (after a rough transition out of it...) partially due to him studying abroad in Germany while I was in the US, partially cause I was terrified I was going to get hurt again and ended up making it a self fulfilling prophecy. But we have been able to slowly work our way through all the issues (which were made ten times worse by my disorders) and actually moved in together about a year ago. We're planning on getting married in about a year.

So yeah, he knows about my disorders. And has helped me through them as best as he can. When I was hospitalized, we were still long distance so he wasn't able to come visit me, but he made sure that he always had his phone on him so whenever I would call for my 10 minute phone call, he'd be able to answer. Our last year of long distance we were only separated by a couple of hours (compared to 17 or so before) and he frequently came to visit me at my school when I was having a rough week. In fact, my parents worked with him and would even drive him to my school if he didn't have access to a car.

I have been so lucky in finding him. Since we got back together, he has been unwaivering in his support and love to me, even through my major struggles, when I have lashed out at him, and when I haven't been able to get out of bed for days and weeks. He's watched me cycle through all my various medications to finally none at all, and given me feed back on what he thinks is helping the most. He's always supported therapy and brought me to many sessions. We still have bumps in the road, but we're like every other couple.

I'm sorry this turned into a "My fiance is the best person in the world!" post, but I truly love him so much and am so, SO lucky to have him. I really wish everyone had someone like him in their lives, because without him, I'm not sure I'd be here.

In regards to your friend, I agree that she is rushing into divorce probably too fast. I think a separation, without the official-ness of a divorce, would have been a better route to take. I don't know what her reasoning would be, but I'm not sure there is much you can do. You say that she is a distant friend -- do you mean physically distant (far away) or that you two aren't close friends? Perhaps she'll end up like a couple in my fiance's family -- they got married, divorced, and then remarried and are as happy as can be (as far as we can tell).

I understand why your sister's actions hurt you -- maybe there's a fear of her doing something like that to you if you ever ended up in a similar state. But at the same time, i can understand why she cut ties with him as much as possible. I agree that the hoops probably weren't necessary, but she was probably in a panic, and like Roses mentioned, probably only saw him as that man threatening to kill her. Once that happened, perhaps she just couldn't go back to seeing him who he was before the illness reared its ugly head and felt the need to protect herself and her son. I can't say I what I would do in her situation because it hasn't happened to me. I'd like to think I would try to work through it, especially since he was able to get stable, but there's no way of knowing what was going on in her head.

Thank you for starting this post. "In sickness and in health" is differently going to be part of my marriage ceremony, because I believe in it, and agree that you cannot pick and choose what sicknesses you're willing to stick around for.