My mom told me something that has stuck with me and I think is very true: Women get married hoping the man changes everything and men get married hoping the woman changes nothing.

Sometimes love isn't just blind - it's deaf and dumb, too. I have made it very clear to my bf that there will be no talk of marriage until we learn very simple things about the other's communication, parenting etc... styles. We have discussed some issues of parenting and have found some fundamental differences. So, until we can come to a compromise, change either of our minds or decide on something - no kids.

However - unfortunately or fortunately - my mom has already done all that with my dad and left after 22 years of trying everything. I'm all to aware that you have to love (or at least accept) everything about your partner for it to be acceptable.

However, that's not to say that every recovering alcoholic will always relapse. If that were the case my aunt and uncle (both 17 years sober) wouldn't be together and they're perfect for each other. And at the same time, sh can't be expected to stick around and be miserable for a person who may not want to change.

Personally, I think marriage is a little silly on some parts. My bf told me that his ex got mad at him for him saying that he wouldn't get married if there was even a slight chance of them getting divorced and I totally agree with that.

What if you get into a relationship only to find out their alcoholism or drug addiction or whatever has been kept a secret from you? After all the lies and hurt, would you still be willing to stick around and wait for them to want to heal themselves?