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Old May 24, 2011, 05:29 PM
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thesnowqueen thesnowqueen is offline
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Member Since: May 2011
Location: S.Africa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 5-HTP View Post
Perhaps you can help me.

I'm in my early twenties and an undergraduate student majoring in biology. I've got a 3.6 gpa.

I am moderately anxious about transferring to a school farther away in the fall. I currently commute to class.

The main sticking point for me is that the last time I did this I screwed up spectacularly. I am horrifically afraid of moving out, though I want to do so for grad school.

I am... not a people person. People, as you know, are usually fairly irrational. Having been hurt by the irrational decisions of others in often severe ways at a rate that is probably more than my share of pain (I don't want to go into it - suffice to say there are certain places I avoid and certain times, when a vehicle I am a passenger in drives past certain places, that I shut my eyes. I had depression once and was successfully treated for it), I am scared of suffering at the hands of those who are overly emotional or too quick to act or have problems thinking logically. Fundamentalist Abrahamic types, for example, make me nervous.

It's hard for me to find people who really 'operate on my wavelength' and who I find trustworthy, too.

Stuff like this is energy-sapping - do you realize how much energy it takes just to keep sane in the face of all the people out there who have an inadequate amount of marbles? - and indeed the last time I did this I was also depressed, so neglected my health, diet, and cleanliness. This has been solidly remedied, but I am afraid of the probability that I will neglect it again.

Get your neurons working and give me some ideas.
Hi 5HTP

'I had depression once and was successfully treated for it'

You may have been successfully treated for depression, and may no longer be ill, but you might still have a lot of pain to work through. When one is depressed one is very vulnerable and the malicious, callous or just unthinking actions of others can do a LOT of harm (I'm speaking from experience).

Perhaps you are now overly reactive to other people? Also, it sounds like you may be missing out on a lot of positive experiences as a result of avoiding situations that MIGHT be painful. (eg. not socializing).

Therapy, in particular, cognitive therapy may help you understand yourself and be more KIND to yourself,

'I screwed up spectacularly'

doesn't sound like a balanced judgment of past events. A better understanding may help you make a decision which you are comfortable with.