past few days have been nasty. still sleep problems and so far the new med keeps me awake with nausea i'll giv eit a few days to see if it subsides

meantime still big headache and tired and unmotivated. i missed support group tonight just didn't have the energy. still aggravated by the job stuff too can't just let it go. why can't i just drop it?

just getting through the past few days has been really hard. nothing special going on the depression just seems to be a bit darker than usual.

i started reading Joseph Campbell's "Hero with a Thousand Faces" and in just the first few pages I'm pretty wrapped up emotionally. This has always been atuned to my personal "philosophy of life" and reading it all laid out is both hopeful and sad... hopeful because I think i still really believe this stuff but sad because most of me thinks i'm past the point of ever being able to regain the feeling that i'm on the journey.

i'm kind of stuck between metaphor and reality and wondering if where i am now is a part of my journey or if i have truly lost the path (which is how i feel) but if it is my journey how deep is it going to go? am i going to loose my house and everything before my transformation? Because i don't think i have the strength to take that path.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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